The Bham News drops another edition

Editorial Cartoon: Dropping another edition

We at Capstone Report strongly encourage you to consider your choices when it comes to where you get your news…specifically, your sports news…in our fair state.

If you enjoy reading that a football program who has yet to play a game, led by a coach who is a perennial loser somehow holds all the cards from the 2009 national champions and Nick Saban, go right ahead.

If you like reading Abarn beat writers (slobber bibs firmly tied in place) blathering and spinning about possibly the most over publicized (locally) and  irrelevant program in the country, be our guest.

And if you trust an outlet with an openly biased Abarn alumnus at the top of its heap, then hey, it’s your fifty cents (or click, whatever the case may be).

Wade through their droppings all you like.

But if you want truth and logic, might we suggest  the Tuscaloosa News at, as well as (of course)

The rest, well, is just a load of crap.


Add Yours
  1. 2

    Good article, Cap. For the record, I spoke with the Tuscaloosa News a couple of years ago and encouraged them to make their paper available in the Bham market. They said they can’t do it. Hoover/Bessemer is as far east as they come. They didn’t believe me that the Bham News has pissed off the Bama Nation enough to drive sales of their paper. It’s a business decision. Oh well, keep up the heat on the News. You’re one of the few out there doing it.

  2. 3

    agreed – is excellent – bone does a great job with recruiting insider info……agreed bham news have some aubies who write like dogs that have been beat too much…and are lapdogs for au as the lamestream media is a lapdog for obama

  3. 4

    Right, because the T-town News is “fair and balanced?” Or because your idea of “news” is having someone fawn all over your favorite team and never actually report anything? If that’s what you’re looking for, old Cecil Hurt will serve up giant portions of it for you to gobble up. Talk about lapdogs.

  4. 6

    only a loser does not fawn over the legendary alabama crimson tide.and it calls into question their s.o.

  5. 7

    Charles Goldberg.
    Kevin Scarbinsky,
    Phillip Marshall.
    Bammer cryptonite.
    They tell the real truths that Bammers hat eo to hear.
    they tell of the pending resurgence of the mighty Tigers. (No not LSU….Auburn)
    Wanna know why?
    Ill tell you why.
    Pat Dye. He is back.
    (Well technically, he never left, but)
    he is back there …. in the background. Scary thought eh, Bammers, No more do you have an impotent Tommy Tuberville to protect you from the WRATH OF DYE.
    These fine reporters have tried to warn you abou the deadly combination of Chizik, Dye and Co. and you wont listen. Consider yourself put on notice. auburn will be the dominant program in the SEC for the next decade… why?
    Ill tell you why…. These guys say so, thats why.

  6. 8

    3-5 sec record is not resurgence to champions….pat dye – drunkard convicted cheat…newton sucked in the spring and the spring game and nobody will say it…moral victories are repugnant… for play system is despicable…au mp will do anything to get just one win over the mighty tide even take 5 yrs of probation…inbred retard is having your bye b4 last game of season…high school trick play offense = losing last 7 of 9 real games…..

  7. 9

    5 yrs of probation and will not even breal even in the sec…at least the other cheating yrs resulted in some tainted wins

  8. 13

    Kevin, assuming you finished high school, remember the standard achievement test you had to take as a senior? Remember the comparative analysis questions? Here’s one for ya:

    “As cotton candy is to filet mignon, so _______________ is to Cecil Hurt.”

    Any of the following answers would apply:
    Scarbinsky, Goldberg, Marshall.

    Hurt isn’t a shameless promoter of the University, and his columns don’t read like they came straight from the school’s PR department.

    Kevin, please promptly remove your head from your rectum. You sound more and more stupid every time you post.

  9. 14

    if u are not fawning over the legendary alabama crimson tide – wth is wrong with u? i qu ur s.o..

  10. 15
    Kevin Scarbinsky

    As promised here are my latest SEC power ratings.
    Dont be surprised to see some shocking wild stuff here.

    #1 Auburn,
    Gene Chizik has been building a dynasty on the Plains. And given the genius of Gus Malzahn, the journeyman knowledge of Ted Roof, the sheer breathe taking athleticism of Cam newton and an entire returning offensive line who is finally ready after 4 years to shine. This team will be especially special. On those maerits alone the tigers would trump most other teams but when you add a stellar recruiting class that some people think is the best in history, this team is a juggernaut.

    #2 Florida.
    Urban Meyer is loaded with talent again this season. while it might not be as good or as much as Auburn, or he might not have the offensive know-how of a guy like Gus Malzahn. florida should have an easy 11 win season and but they will lose to Auburn in Atlanta.

    #3 LSU
    Les Miles has an warehouse worth of talent this season. But he isnt the brightest light bulb in the pack. He will be totally out smarted by the Gus malzahn super speedy power spread. and Ted Roof’s D will be tremendous.

    #4 Ole Miss
    Houston Nutt is dangerous when you over look him. And even though he doesnt have much talent, he will readily flog schools like Alabama and Arkansas.

    #5 South Carolina
    its spurrier’s turn to burn. he has a great defense returning (but… not as specatacular as the one Ted Roff will be heading at Auburn) Even though the Gamecocks show some potential they still arent to be considered in the league’s elite like Auburn is.

    #6 Kentucky…..
    A lot of good things are going on int he bluegrass state. But this will be a hit and miss year. Kentucky might run the table if they play teams like Alabama but they dont stand much of a chance against the cream of the league,(teams like florida and auburn)

    %7 Miss St.
    Dann Mullen has done miracles with the Bulldogs and they are now a (comfortably) second tier team. The Bulldogs are my second preseason pick to beat Nick Saban’s Bama squad behind Auburn.

    #8 Vanderbilt

    Vanderbilt made a bold statement by beating an Elite team like Auburn 2 seasons ago. That statement rang like a shockwave through a stunned country, and served notice that Vanderbilt had finallyh arrived.

    #9 Georgia
    for many years Georgia claimed a storied history of being a perrenial powerhouse. But lets face it Mark Richt’s 10 win seasons still dont prove that he can steadily compete against the Auburn’s of the SEC in recruiting or on the field. 7-6 at best.

    #10 UT
    Derek Dooley has stepped into a firestorm. He has the problems of restocking the shelves at Tennesee without the superior recruiting talkent of a guy Like Curtis Luper or Trooper Taylor. Expect some long days for rocky Top this season.

    #11 Arkansas
    Yeah they got Mallett and what would appear to be a rock solid offense, but against the creme of the league and Defenses as well rounded, touch and scary as Auburn’s they will wilt away.

    #12 Alabama

    Oh how the once mighty have fallen.
    Poor Bama has to replace almost all of their Defense and still manufacture a running and passing game. And since Gus Malzahn pioneered the “wildcat” offense. it is not too big of an ask to see the table turned from 2 years ago and see Bama on the losing end of a 36-0 score.

    These are my early projections. Its looking like auburn cant lose this season.

    Kevin Sacrbinsky currently has a regular column for the Birmingham News which is in no way affiliated with The University of Auburn (Unless you count Alumni)

  11. 16

    Any program that has to run an Carnival Bus around to get some attention – any program that has to buy Billboards –
    What a utter fucking Joke.

  12. 17

    ITK, has Cecil Hurt repaid his loans to Bama Booster Ray Keller yet?? I’m sure there are no other financial irregularities between Hurt and the University. Right????

  13. 19

    Pluto, did I hear Abarn was hiring a skywriter to manufacture more interest in their nationally irrelevant program?

  14. 20
    Kevin Scarbinsky

    Rumors are running rampant around Lee County that the Auburn recruiting team will hire a crop duster plane and skywrite recruiting messages over the homes of potential recruits.
    In a totally unrelated (and coincidental matter), a strange message was left written in the sky over over Cullman High School saying “Spencer! please come back!!!!)

  15. 21

    Well you sure as hell have our attention now ByGod !! I’m Skeert ! I don’t think Bama’s man enough to play Auburn !

  16. 22
    alex hamilton

    Actually the analogy between Cotton Candy should be with Auburn Football. The program is merely a sugary, fluff cloud that has no real substance.

    My subscription to the Barn News ran out in mid 2009 and I never renewed. Although the idiots still delivered the paper to me for almost 8 months, I have not and will not renew. It is garbage.
    Any paper that would give a job to that lil pompous bitch Ian Rappaport has to be viewed as devoid of any credibility.

    I can’t wait til the day that it folds and Scarbinsky and Goldberg are out of their ass.

    Maybe they can band together with Phillip Marshall and just fellate AU boosters and Chiznik for a living.

    And fuck you Kevin. You’re sorry fucking program is a joke and will never win an SEC championship as long as it is getting it’s ass kicked by Saban.

  17. 23

    ITK, you wrote a diatrible condemning the objectivity of the Bham News and then concluded by describing the Tuscaloosa News as a bastion of “truth and logic”. When I remind you that the editor of the Tuscaloosa News had a prominent UA booster co-sign a personal loan (which fact wasn’t even disclosed until sworn testimony in a lawsuit against the NCAA), your only response is to regurgitate a juvenile name like “douche”. Any you have the unmitigated gall to describe Hurt as unbiased and objective. Classic.

    I wonder what your response would be if it was disclosed that Jimmy Rane co-signed a loan for Kevin Scarbinsky?

  18. 24

    Wow julio……Didnt know that.. Appearantly “Intheknow” isnt nearly as in the know as he would like to think.

    But hey, Im sure that the fact he has a bama booster as a co-signer has absolutely NOTHING to do with his journalistic bias.

    Why ? Because he is a Bama man. They dont do things like that. They cant be swayed by dollars…..

    Hold on…… I forgot about Logan Young…..And Gene Jelks…..Also Albert Means ( nad his coach) And the hundred or so textbook idiots….Oh, and the hundreds of other Bama football athletes, journalists, and high school coaches bought and paid for over the last 50 years.

    Never mind.

  19. 25

    BPI, that was discovered during Ray Keller’s lawsuit against the NCAA. The funny thing is that Hurt was repeatedly writing these supposedly “objective” articles demonozing the NCAA and using Keller as a source, all the while failing to disclose that he was financially beholden to Keller. When it finally came to light during the Keller trial, TN Executive Editor Doug Ray said, “He should never have had Keller cosign a loan for him. Once that happened, he should have disclosed it.” Ray also stated that Hurt would be disciplined for his actions. Obviously, that was nothing but lip service because Hurt remains the Sports Editor of the TN. I guess that kind of journalistic behavior is to be applauded in the eyes of ITK, Cappy, and all the bammers. In fact, ITK thinks I’m a “douche” for even mentioning it.

  20. 26

    Well Julio – it had to happen – I agree with you about Cecil. What he did compromised him ethically . He is extremely lucky to have held on his job and it certainly cost him the Sports Editor Job.
    I don’t trust him. What he says on PFRN is meaningless for the most part. Of Course Paul – wants you to analyze and parch what Cecil says for “Hidden Information” or whatever.
    I know this sounds old fashioned – but why in the Hell can’t you just say what you mean ?
    I consider Cecil to be an extremely polished Bull-Shitter.

  21. 27

    I cant say that K.S. doesnt have an angle. A lot of the articles he writes do seem to have an Auburn lean. But, so what ? So do the propoganda outlets for Bama. Just like you said Pluto. Take it at face value, and move on.

    Lets not pull an ITK and boycott something like we are on the same level as Rosa Parks in the 60’s B’ham bus boycott. That is beyond lame. ITK , do you realize you just won the BCS ?

    It insane.

    Just liek the Spencer Regions deal. Most logical , sane , people ( of wich there are very few on this board) , would just wish the best for the dude. Hey, its a big decision. But if you are a typical redneck fan, you want the kids dog to catch a bullet and go key his car…..Thats stupidity. I wish the best for him. Even if he goes to Alabama. I hope he doesnt. But , big deal if he does. Its his life, and he is still a very talented O-lineman regardless of where he goes.

  22. 28

    Don’t want him at Bama – unless he walks on and earns the Spot.
    Got to be a Price for Stupidity – even if you are an 17 year old.
    This thing was heralded at the Time as Fort Sumter and the Second Coming of Auburn.
    The End Result is that a Tattered Sports Media is now viewed for what it is.
    Desperate to be an Suck -Ass for Auburn. Why ? The Sales Department says so.
    Sales is Running Programming.

  23. 29

    What you goofs fail to realise is the fact that Regions commitment at the time was newsworthy. Not only his commitment, but his switching commitments. After two years of Sabans stranglehold on Alabama recruits, there is a change . That change is news worthy. If you cant see that , then its only because of your crimson stained glasses.

    Gene Chizik should not be able to out recruit the master recruiter known as Nick Saban. But, he did. To stick your head in the sand and pretend it didnt happen only shows blatant hmoerism. Not intellegence. And to pretend the media outlets shouldnt report stories concerning this fact is brick wall stupid.

    The proof will be in the puddin this year. Bama “experts” claim that this years Bama class will be the best ever. Well , if thats true, there is absolutely no reason why Auburn should be able to come anywhre close to Bamas class. When the media reports stories that try to explain how Auburn DID not only compete but possibly beat Bama again this year. Well , you rubes will be screaming this same old crap.

  24. 30

    Thats right BPI.
    Them Bammers cant seem to understand why blue chip recruits would be flocking to Auburn.
    Now granted, we have been getting smacked around in the SEC for the last couple of years. And Chizik does have a losing record. And the outback Bowl wasnt exactly the most glamorous attempt at being viewd as an elite team.But they fail to see the miracle that is happening. In spite of all of the percieved negatives about Auburn, Auburn is managing to out recruit almost every SEC school. They seem to have some hidden secret noone knows about…

  25. 33

    BPI, 5 of the 6 major recruiting services rated THE U of A’s recruiting class higher than auburn’s last year. That’s an indisputable fact, not that aubies listen to reason. The one service that rated auburn higher was Rivals, and that was only because auburn signed SIX more recruits than UA. Even when THE U of A is loaded at every position with 4 and 5 star recruits, and when auburn can offer early playing time, THE U of A STILL outrecruits auburn. Even ESPN guru Tom Luginbill, not known for his love of THE U of A, has Bama ranked #1 early in recruiting, along with Texas. In the meantime Spencer Region has seen the light and decommitted from the “Lousiest village on the Plain”. Truth hurts, doesn’t it?

  26. 34

    BPI, not saying the Chiz’s recruiting isn’t newsworthy, just saying with the old guard still in place, led by papa Dye, there are probably Rea$on$. Which will surface sooner than later.

  27. 35

    Kinda like the rea$on$ julio was referring to with regards to Cecil Hurt ?

    And Bamafan……Why did the U of A award themselves the national championship of recruiting per rivals ? Because in those years there were other services that had other teams higher….So wich is it ? You know rivals is the most reutable recruting service out there.

  28. 36

    BF, here’s the overall point that you bammers don’t want to acknowledge: Chizik and AU are recruiting just as strongly as Saban and Bama are. Everybody with half a brain knows there is no discernible differnece between the #4 and #5 classes on any recruiting service. The point is they are both among the elite classes in the country. You bammers swore up and down when Chizik was hired that he was a total joke and the master Saban would run over him like a Mack truck in recruiting. One year later he was neck and neck with Saban, and it looks to be continuing this year.

    BPI, don’t waste your breath with ITK on the Cecil Hurt issue. He thinks it’s perfectly respectable journalism to be financially beholden to your sources. It’s that darn Kevin Scarbinsky and his audacity to acknowledge that AU and Chizik have outperformed the bammer’s expectations that’s corrupt.

  29. 37


    AU and Chizik have not outperformed our expectations. 8-5 (with parades that follow) is about right.

  30. 38

    Oh, I’m sorry my little friend that is oddly preoccupied with his personal feminine hygiene problem. I didn’t realize you predicted that Chizik would be neck and neck with AU in recruiting.

    PS – you better get that hygiene problem checked out ITK. We wouldn’t want you developing another yeast infection.

  31. 39

    You’re the douche and I have a personal hygblah, blah…. I swear I just don’t get you anymore, man. Does what you say even make sense to you before you write it? Because if it does you’re alone.

    So Chiznik’s one good year in recruiting makes him neck in neck with Saban’s back to back #1 classes and a top fiver? See what I mean? Somewhere along the way you just stopped making sense.

    Now come on back with some more witty banter about feminine something or other.

  32. 40

    OK, see the word “predict” means that you try to say what will happen at a particular point in the future. “Predict” does not mean an analogy of what has happened in the past. You “predicted” last year that Saban would bury Chizk in recruting. He hasn’t. They are neck and neck right now. The fact that Chizik didn’t out-recruit Saban 3 years ago while at Iowa State and 2 years ago during the 6 week period that passed between his arrival at AU and signing day are completely irrelevant to the “predictions” you spouted off last year. As usual, you attempt to change the subject when someone demonstrates that you’re wrong.

    As to you getting your panties in a wad about my commenting on your feminine hygiene problems, don’t blame me. You’re the one that’s obsessed with the word douche. I’m just commenting on how disturbing and bizarre it is.

  33. 41

    Disturbing and bizarre is your permanent residence on an Alabama message board. And while I’m not sure what “recruting” is, I do know that one Nicholas Saban has produced a National Championship (can you even say that word without tearing up?) with HIS recruits…excuse me, “recruts”. And if it pleases you, let me “predict” that Chiznik will not do the same. Ever. Neither will his successor. And his. And his. You will die having never seen what I witnessed last January. Bank it.

    You see, there’s much more to this game than painting buses, naming weekends, twirling towels and signing “name” players. It has to translate to the field. Here’s where you try and disqualify what has happened while championing what you or I can predict. And you wonder why I call you a douche.

    The reason you love predictions is it sets your feet on a level playing field with mine. It’s the arena of the unknown, and whatever I say is as good as anything you can say. But as we both know (that is if they taught this in your vocational school), history so often “predicts” the future by repeating itself. And what we have here is a program (in Alabama) steeped in tradition, and yes, championships (being the BEST) led by a champion who is a proven winner. We have done what Abarn never has…many times…and the forecast just ahead calls for more of the same. Ole 13-24…well, that’s a different story. But that bus sure looks cool!!

    When he came, Saban had done it before, so I believed, yea, “predicted” if it pleases you, that he would do it again. Three years seemed quick, but given his aptitude and drive, which was unlike anything my alma mater had seen since Paul Bryant, it did not surprise me when we suddenly found ourselves back among the elite. Dominating the landscape of college football this quickly was a complete shock. Being a household name again in a position to pursue our third…third Julia…perfect regular season in a row…now that’s a surprise that’s simply downright pleasant.

    But you don’t get it and you never will. You continue to come on here and tell the world the emperor has clothes on when we all see he (Abarn) is as naked as a jaybird. That is any of us who care to look Abarn’s way. The reality is Abarn is so irrelevant, most don’t. On the national scale, they are about even with Iowa State, or the purple Vandy, whose kicker they had to hurt to defeat. However, don’t let that stop you from loving them. Give them your all. Paint your face orange on one side, blue on the other. Yelp at the top of your lungs when that bird flies down to get the rubber mouse. Get a good spot when the 8-5 parade comes barreling down the street.

    Just don’t look across the state to see our Crystal and other hardware piling up because our coach, staff and “recruts” are more than towels, rhymes and fluff.

    Now, as to why I call you a douche: The term refers to a person, usually male, with a variety of negative qualities, specifically arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions without malicious intent.

    You are arrogant without cause. You are obnoxious without reason. And you are irritating because, well, you just are. You lay your head on your pillow every night in full belief that Abarn is equal to Alabama. The only reason I care is the sheer fun of leading you into a forum where your empty stupidity is exposed and in full view.

    I’m sure you’re ready to regurgitate 101 facts you’ve memorized about what I’ve said to this point and the history of Alabama. I just can’t imagine what your life must look like when you remove yourself from your sticky keyboard.

    I don’t think I’ve ever asked this question, but did you even graduate from Abarn? My “prediction” is no.

  34. 44

    When are you gonna show us what it looks like?

    Try extra fiber, ITK. It should work wonders for you.

  35. 45

    What in the world did you just try to say? You wrote that and pushed “submit comment”? Is someone logging on here as you? Douche, you’ve lost it.

  36. 46

    Oh, sorry ITK. I was referring to your proclaimed desire to demonstrate a “bi+ch slap”. I guess you forgot about your post immediately above my response.

    I’m terribly sorry to hear you admit that I’m “irritating” you. That breaks my heart.

  37. 47

    LOL. You’re not that irritating, Julia. The only thing that’s truly irritating to me is that your beloved school has sold you short, duping a fairly intelligent person like yourself into giving his life to a program that will never be the best in anything. Unless you count swimming. Which I’m sure you do. You’d have to. How else can you reconcile being an Abarn fan?

  38. 48

    Our Equestrian program is second to none as well…….(you know thats sarcasm , right ?)…..Our baseball team is currently sittin atop the west….And our basketball program is on the rise..

    Football program looks like a growing monster….Time will tell. Irrelevent? No. Room for improvement …Yes.

  39. 49

    I totally agree with you BPI; the Abarn football program is vastly different from two years ago. If I can peel back the curtain a little, I think the thing that bewilders and even tickles Bama fans is the notion that a couple of signs of improvement suggest equality with us across the state. By sheer comparisons of achievement, this has always been the point of debate, and always will be.

    This is all in fun for me (and I hope others), but understand, while what has happened in the last three years at Abarn is a definite step in the right direction for ya’ll, what has happened in that same span of time in Tuscaloosa is a redefinition of championship football altogether for us. I’m not bragging, but we have been to the mountaintop many times (22 to be exact in the conference and 13 times nationally), but the mindset Saban has brought with him has forever changed the face of an already proud program. It must be unbearable to watch, and again I don’t mean that in conceit.

    So excuse us if we’re not impressed with limo rides, billboards, a gimmick offense and a great recruiting class. We are the nightmare on our opponents schedule that we used to be, and we haven’t tasted that in a long, long time. And the mediocrity we swam in for over a decade makes this taste and feel even better, especially when it’s setting in that this is the norm while our iconic coach resides in Tuscaloosa, who by all intents and purposes is content to ride into the sunset several years from now by way of McFarland Boulevard.

    None of this is to say Abarn doesn’t have a good football program. You do. It’s just not Alabama. And lo, the Hatfields and the McCoys continue their feud. 🙂

  40. 50

    I do not disagree. But, your comparison in the time frames with Chiz and Saban are not accurate. Though I doubt we run the table in the SEC next year as you guys did in your second year, we should come close to that. I predict two SEC losses.

    Year three will most likely not be a N.C. for Auburn either. But I could see us contending for the S.E.C.

    Bama fell back asswards into the second best coaching hire of its existance. Sabans do not come around very often. I only wish that Spurrier or Richrod had taken the job. We would be having a different conversation altogether had that happened.

    But hey,, it did happen , and blind luck got you guys the best coach in C.F.B. But , like Richard Petty said, I’d rather be lucky than good.

    Congrats on your success.

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