Capstone Saturdays: One Big Cat Gets Away

Editorial Cartoon: One Big Cat Gets Away
Abarn is doing better in recruiting than they have in years, and while there may be rea$on$ for that, that’s not what this article is about.

Week in and week out, the barn benefits from Alabama media writers and talking heads who offer their PR services at no charge. It has become a sport of its own, really, watching those who exchange journalistic integrity for talking orders from the institution they love, er, cover. I have a revolving list of favorites, but right now, there is none better than the B’ham News’ Charles Goldberg.

Last May, Goldberg slobbered all over himself over “Big Cat Weekend” in an article entitled “Auburn’s Big Cat Weekend Captures The Fancy of Seastrunk, Other Top Recruits” (May 31, 2009), (you can read it here).

Here my favorite abarn beat writer reflects on the glory of what we now know was an illegal weekend. I wonder why it never occured to him that this was the real story? But then again, illegal recruiting down on the farm isn’t really news.

According to the article, the weekend “drew the nation’s top prospects, ranked either 1st or 2nd at their position.” But of all the prospects, none drew the attention…and lust from Abarn’s PR writers…than one Lache Seastrunk. The #1 running back in the country. In Lee County. It was a thing of glory.

Wrote my favorite abarn flunky: “Lache Seastrunk says he wants a career in broadcasting. His bubbling personality should give him a good start, and his enthusiasm over Auburn’s latest recruiting push should make Auburn fans feel good.”

Though Goldberg dropped names faster than Joan Rivers, it was Seastrunk (mentioned by name nine times in his short article) that was the object of his devotion.

It turns out, Abarn fans will feel good rooting for Seastrunk… if the Oregan Ducks ever face Alabama in a BCS National Championship Game.

The bellcow of Big Cat Weekend passed over the tiggers to become a duck.

I wonder if they held a Big Duck Weekend? But, I digress…

But it got better.

“Seastrunk and his fellow recruits witnessed the traditional rolling of Toomer’s Corner on Saturday night (illegally), and that seemed to make a big impression. Linebacker Jessel Curry, son of long-time NFL linebacker Buddy Curry, convinced his family to allow him to stay over an extra day, and left town Sunday saying it looked as if he’d choose between Auburn and West Virginia.”

In all due respect to the young man, Jessel Curry, who I hope has a wonderful career at Abarn and gains a fine education in the process, Goldberg attempts to align him with “the nation’s #1 and #2 recruits at their positions”. An Abarn commit (now), gives him 2 out of 5 stars, and slots him at the #11 fullback in this class.

Come on, Charles. Really?

He also went out of his way to let the abarn faithful know that Khairi Fortt, the nation’s #2 linebacker had stopped in as well, though Fortt apparently preferred being a Nittany Lion over a “Big Cat.”

Of course, now that Lache passed over Abarn’s desperate attempt at gaining ground on the absolute talent stockpile in Tuscaloosa, Abarn fans “didn’t really want Seastrunk anyway.” Isn’t that what they’ll say?

Wonder if we’ll get to read this “party line” in an upcoming edition of the news?