Remember when Auburn fans talked about recruiting only Auburn men? I guess Auburn men steal laptops.

That has to be the case since Gene Chizik signed former Florida player and accused laptop thief Cameron Newton.

According to Rivals Newton had this to say about his recruitment, “There isn’t any doubt Auburn was the right place for me, the best fit for me.”

Laptop thieves welcome! Do What We Do! Keep it down home coz!

Auburn is back to business as usual, or rather has left the class of the Tommy Tuberville era behind to embrace the trashiness of the Pat Dye era. If anyone believes Dye isn’t calling the shots then this laptop thief on campus should settle the issue.

You might suspect Auburn fans would be outraged at the admission of a lawbreaker to the ranks of the Auburn family.

You would be wrong. A quick view of Auburn message boards illustrate Auburn fans declaring their unending love for bringing in this laptop thief, errr, I mean model student-athlete. Today, Auburn fans are all about forgiveness.

Until they get their laptop stolen.

In case you haven’t realized it, Auburn fans are full of it. At first, stars don’t matter, but the heart does. Today the heart can belong to a thief but if he has a few stars after his name, bring him to the Plains!

Anyone wondering how desperate things are for Auburn, Auburn fans and the coaching staff should look at this episode. It is a pathetic example of how winning trumps the cherished principles supposedly at the core of the Auburn family.

War Eagle!

44 thoughts on “WAR EAGLE! Honor among thieves?”

  1. Or I just enjoy making fun of hypocrites. You know, guys like you who complained about all those thugs at Alabama.

    Looks like you got thugs in Auburn. I find that funny as hell.

  2. Auburn is one of the most penalized/CHEATING teams in NCAA history. You set the gold standard for cheating.

  3. Sorry, spin it how you like, but there is not one single athletic proigram in the country that can hold a candle to what UAT has done in the last 14 years. You guys are the champions of cheating…Roll Tide for that one.

  4. How do you spin setting the standard with SMU for being on probation? That is what Auburn is all about. Among the most penalized teams in the history of college football.

    Your ONE national title is tainted by a post-season ban for CHEATING. 🙂

  5. I love how you try to change the subject from having a THIEF on campus. Feel safe walking to class now?

  6. I suppose since bama is on probation right now, if you guys beat Texas they will just have to put an asterisk by that one….sigh, what a shame.

  7. Typical Auburn logic. There is a big difference between probation and a post-season ban for, you know, CHEATING by paying players.

  8. I have not walked to class in about 20 years….but yes….I would feel safe doing it again. It isn’t like football players getting shot in apartment parking lots less than a mile from campus like what happened in Tuscaloosa a few months ago.

  9. Ahh, but that football player wasn’t a thief.

    Doesn’t that make you feel all warm and fuzzy? Having a known thief as part of your family?

  10. This has been fun…Happy New Year capstonereport author….you need to get out more often. Hook em’ Horns!

  11. You too. Happy New Year, and I have to admit I haven’t had this much fun since Tuberville was waving fingers. 🙂

  12. between you, me and the lightpost….and anyone else who reads this blog…I know LOTS of Auburn folks who didn’t care for the finger waving….it was not necessary.

    Seriously…gotta go….Happy New Year.

  13. I know a couple of Auburn fans that were in Rotary with me back then and they didn’t care for it.

    I have to admit to liking Tuberville though. I’m rooting for him to land a good job.

  14. Cappy, those are the most replies I think I’ve ever seen from you. Are you getting a little concerned that AU’s recruiting rankings are going to be side by side with Bama?? No, that’s impossible. I mean, you bammers have coined all those whimsical phrases like Cheezenip and dipsy-doo. There’e no way a cheezenip and a didpsy-doo can actually recruit.

    All kidding aside, I’m not crazy about signing the kid. The thing that disturbs me the worst is that the kid’s dad says it was all a big misunderstanding and that he didn’t know that laptop was stolen. BS. That tells me the kid won’t own up to his transgression. I’d feel a million times better if he just said I screwed up, it was stupid, and it will never happen again.

  15. Bama fans calling other fans hypocrites. 😀 I love it. Considering the Gump love for Choklahoma, I’m sure you would have held your tongue if he was headed to Norman. Sports fans are ALL hypocrites you uneducated writer wannabe. This tool’s team is playing in the MNC game and he STILL can’t help but cry. What do you care? Aren’t you going to win every Iron Bowl from now until Saban is there? What are you worried about? If you do everything by the good ol’ book attempting to turn around a program, well that would make you Jeff Lebo. Hypocrites are a part of sports. I think the biggest idiots of all are the ones that call others hypocrites without admitting that they themselves are equally guilty at times.

    The Crapstone Report can’t get any better. So cute of you to take time out of your New Year’s Eve to bash Auburn. BTW, ask Florida fans. They don’t exactly have a bad opinion of the kid, and there are multiple reports on what actually happened. Cause we all know Mullen would think of bringing in a bad kid who he previously mentored. Let us break your problem down to what it really is. You don’t want Auburn to win, and it’s killing you.

  16. I think it’s so Auburn to be reading an Alabama blog and then responding negitively about it. I’m sure Track em Tigers would love to hear your whinning. If you think this is the “Crapstone Report”, let me be the first to invite you to quit posting here and stay the hell off our site.

  17. Stealing laptops (Cam) or selling cocaine (Jimmy Johns) …everybody’s got somebody who’s shady or once was shady. America is a place of second, third and fourth chances. Get over it folks and move on.

  18. The last Aubie I met after BAMA beat you said “Its only a game,”yeah right!” Aubies are sore losers who never knew what class was. Even when you went 13-0 you whined!

  19. Saban had to clean up the shit house from Club Shula and a few
    players had trouble with the law. The cow college signs this kid who stole a labtop from another student? Another log on the fire to get the fans going at one another!! I love it!! RTR
    GO NORTHWESTERN!!

  20. capstonereport said:
    “Auburn is back to business as usual, or rather has left the class of the Tommy Tuberville era behind to embrace the trashiness of the Pat Dye era. If anyone believes Dye isn’t calling the shots…”

  21. Oh yeah I forgot — go Wildcats!!!! May the purple overshadow the ugliness of the orange and blue vomit in Tampa!

  22. Alabama: Giving Haters a Reason to Hate Since 1831.

    Roll Tide. Thank God I don’t have to resort to rooting for another team because my team sucks. Even when Alabama was in the dark ages, I still supported the program. Do you know how many times I’ve heard “Hook ’em Horns” from Auburn fans? It must suck to have a passion for a team that sucks as bad as Auburn. It’s not going to get any better in the next few years. Settle in. Gimmick offenses don’t make it long in the SEC.

  23. For the record, Cameron Newton was never convicted of anything. The charges have been dropped. Amazing how the media / other fans spin this – like he was put on trial and convicted. It just happens to be Alabama vs. Auburn now but it was Florida haters when the story broke.

    If you bothered to read any of the police reports or court paper you would read that he purchased the laptop from another student who stole it. He claims he didn’t know it was stolen but that is unlikely. Anyway he got a first time offender program and they dropped the theft charge. He was never charged with receiving stolen property.

    But hey, why report on the kid that stole the laptop and went to jail? Oh yea, he doesn’t play football and that wouldn’t sell any papers.

  24. If Newton were innocent then why did he enter a pretrial diversion program?

    Yeah, that is what I thought. You are an Auburn liar. Thanks for playing.

  25. Did you ever see the word innocent anywhere in my post?

    The kid received / purchased property he should have known to be stolen.

    He committed a criminal act but is not a thief. Get your facts straight is all I am saying.

  26. So in the truest tradition of sophistry, you are fine with letting a criminal onto your Auburn football team. 🙂

    According to the State Attorney, he was facing GRAND THEFT charges. Looks like a thief to me. In other words, stop getting your news from the Bunker. Here is the important quote from an article: “The State Attorney’s Office dropped grand theft and tampering charges against Newton late last week after he completed a pretrial intervention program for first-time offenders that typically includes probation. Newton stayed out of trouble during his probation and appears to be on track to turning things around.” (source: http://www.gainesville.com/article/20091216/ARTICLES/912179999 )

    What you are repeating is the father’s story. So, all I can do is laugh at you for believing the family of what really is a thief.

    Have fun cheering your group of criminals on the Plains!

  27. I am glad he is off the gators team, Auburn can have him. This is old news in gator country:

    http://www.gatorcountry.com/swampgas/showthread.php?t=135584

    Maybe USA today is wrong about receiving stolen property:
    http://fantasysports.usatoday.com/content/player.asp?sport=CFB&id=119486

    At least someone does read up on what they report.

    No one wants to report on the kid who stole the laptop – they just want to hang this guy.

    I am glad that no one gets wrongly accused up in Alabama but in the rest of the world it happens. Just ask the rugby team and the stripper out for money.

  28. In other words you believe the father and the State Attorney was just persecuting the poor misunderstood kid.

    What a loser you are. You Auburn fans deserve this thief.

  29. The Prophet is seeing very thuggish behavior from the Awbarn Tiggers. Excessive celebrations and general lack of respect of the officials. Very undisciplined team. Looks like this is a pattern we will see in the near future. Players head butting Chiznick. Fun game to watch today. Sloppy to me, but fun. Now they recruit this thief. I guess he can be an Awbarn man like Eric Smith.

  30. I watched some of the barn/Northwestern game. The wildcats had 5 turnovers and the barn had to break the kicker’s leg to win the game. The barn is on a fast track. A fast track to the bottom of the west.

    I’m no prophet, but I know the game.

    It sux to be an aubarn tiger!

  31. Yeah good article. Let’s trash a kid for one past mistake. But ok you’re right he got in trouble. Kinda like how half the Alabama football team has behavioral and legal problems in their background hahah. Shouldn’t you be worried about your big NC and not trashing Auburn recruits?

  32. I would expect no less than these articles cap, glad to see you didnt dissappiont. Ive learned not to buy into the hype of a recruit, though this one seems legit. Raven Gray comes to mind. But, Im impressed with what Chizik has done recruting wise. Now he just needs another defensive coodinator.

  33. Roof is the best X’s and O’s coach Chizik has on staff. Malzahn is loved, but he sucks and can’t manage a clock….Roof is stuck with no talent and manages to put together decent gameplans.

  34. Your out of your mind. Our secondary is a disaster. NOT devoid of talent, but not very disciplined. Kifka threw mfor over 500 yards, that should never happen. PERIOD. The clock amanagement isnt on Mahlzan, its on Chizik. What was with not calling a timeout with 20 seconds left ? If the dude would have hit that feil goal in regulation, its game over. Our pass coverage is the pits, look at the Arky game. Much like the NU game, they stunk. Roof has got to improve or go.

  35. Part of your problem is the defensive line and linebackers. The secondary has problems, but your entire program has discipline issues. And you guys just made it worse with the desperate recruitment of this thief.

    The clock management is Malzahn’s fault. He runs the offense, and just like he choked in the Alabama game….he just sucks in taking care of the clock. He makes Les Miles look smart.

  36. what about that auburn kid that brought those guns to the locker room , and the one that sold those books and went on that free fishin trip and stuff…….. no wait those were bammer thugs. my bad.

    bammer idiots…. maybe you purchased the champ game instead of buying food for your kids and you cant still hear the anouncer say” …. 12 national championships, well thats not what the history books really say, but we’ll go ahead and let you say that anyway”

    liars, every last one of you nut jobs

  37. you sure can tell the ignorant ‘bama folks are out in force! they can’t even tell the difference between an arrest and a conviction! hate it for y’all who end up with a degree from alabama because apparently you don’t even get to learn about the fundamentals of american law!

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