Fear drove Urban Meyer from Florida

Florida Gator coach Urban Meyer has resigned as the Florida football coach; his last game will be the Sugar Bowl against Cincinnati Bearcats. Health issues appear to be the cause of the sudden and unexpected announcement. However, the health excuse is too common for anyone to believe. There is much more to it than what is on the surface of these reports.

To the intelligent football observer, it is clear why Urban Meyer fled Florida. He was afraid.

He was afraid of Lane Kiffin.

Lane Kiffin won so many moral victories in his first season that it struck fear into Meyer and the entire Gator Nation. Doubt that? Kiffin only lost to the Gators by less than two touchdowns! Kiffin only lost to Alabama by less than a field goal! Sure Kiffin lost to the inept 5-19 Auburn coach, but it was a transition year in Knoxville. We have to excuse the Auburn defeat, and considering how improved Crompton’s play was in the fourth quarter—it was a moral victory too! Even the UCLA disaster, the NCAA investigation into recruiting violations and HOstessgate were good for the Volunteers.

Kiffin has outfoxed Meyer at every turn. Just look at the recruiting success with Nu’Keese Richardson. First, Kiffin insulted the people of Pahokee, Florida, but that was fine as it got Kiffin and Tennessee more attention. Second, incorrectly accusing Meyer of cheating was a ruse; it got Kiffin more attention and let Meyer know that the Vols were back! Third, even though Richardson got booted from the team during the season for committing an alleged felony, that was OK too! The Volunteers got publicity from the alleged attempted armed robbery. How can you beat that? And it was all part of Kiffin’s master plan.

Meyer was upstaged at the SEC Championship Game in Atlanta by Kiffin. The Volunteer coach strutted onto ESPN’s Gameday set, and there was nothing Meyer could do to stop it.

At every turn Meyer was kicked by Kiffin. In recruiting Kiffin was winning by grabbing quality people like Nu’Keese Richardson. In coaching Kiffin was winning so many moral victories there was no hope Meyer could keep up. In public relations Kiffin was getting on talk radio, blogs and television constantly.

Florida must respond by hiring someone capable of keeping up with Lane Kiffin. The names of Houston Nutt, Phil Fulmer and Tommy Tuberville have already been dropped as possible replacements. These men would be undaunted by the specter of facing Lane Kiffin. In fact, Fulmer would be an intriguing choice. No, not because he coached at Tennessee, but because he would server as an extra NCAA monitor to help keep Kiffin’s illegal recruiting activities in check.

Florida must do something to send a message it hasn’t fallen behind the Volunteers in the SEC East. Can they? Or is it too late to catch up to Tennessee?

38 Comments

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  1. 2
    Alex Hamilton

    Kiffin stated that he “won’t be fired at the University of Tennessee. I’ll just claim I have weak heart muscle.”

  2. 3
    urbanlegend

    Are you kidding me Mr. Writer? Moral victories? Moral victories don’t show in the WIN column. Moral victories do not win National Championships! Lane Kiffin is a JOKE!!! You are a typical Tennessee homer- your team sucks and you think they are improving! Tennessee will NEVER win an SEC Championship under Kiffin. PERIOD!!!

  3. 5
    Alex Hamilton

    …. This just in. Alan, author of The Capstone Report has been admitted to Brookwood Hospital ER. Apparently, his tongue went through his cheek.

    …..or was it dehydration?

  4. 6
    Tim Ferguson

    Obviously the above dream was written by kiffin himself. Cause if i remember correctly, his dad’s defense gave florida fits not anything lane did. We see how well nu’keese richardson worked out for Lame. Wow great recruiting…he wouldve fir in at the u back in the day.
    When lane gets his first sec east champions ship, most of us will be in the grave. They are gettin better, but got along way to go cry baby. Strut into game day with your rings…oh wait he probaly has one from the left caost team who is playin tonite stead of Jan 1 or later!!
    Urban is a man who cares more bout his wife and kids than kiffin does football. Lame could really learn something from him.

  5. 7
    Alex Hamilton

    I get it now. Alan is actually a closet UT fan!

    We all know that Florida fans are NEVER wrong. Cap, the secret is out.

    And one more thing. Can you loan some servers to edsbs.com so we can get that site up and rub this in?

  6. 8
    Jack

    Do you honestly believe what you are saying? And Nu’Keese Richardson who you call a “quality person” clearly was a good loss for Urban Meyer and the Florida football program considering that he robbed a convenience store and is now not even with the Tennessee football team.

  7. 10
    Alex Hamilton

    Like sands through the hour glass, Florida fans continue to be the stupidest fans in the SEC. I’ve not seen anything as obtuse as their responses since I took geometry in the ninth grade.

  8. 11
    capstonereport

    Everydayshouldbesaturday.com was working for me.

    And yes, I believe every word I wrote. I read it all on Gridscape, so it must be true! 🙂

  9. 12
    Tim Ferguson

    I agree! He will be fired before his dad reaches retirement.
    Gator Nation… we will be strong and we will fight another day, but today we mourn!

    As a gator fan, it’s almost hard to say..
    But Roll Tide, keep the title in OUR conference where it belongs!

  10. 14
    Not An Idiot

    Obviously this is a joke. How does this have anything to do with Lane Kiffin? Urban was not healthy enough to continue to coach football. All you Florida and Tennessee fans need to quit acting like idiots and move on.

  11. 15
    capstonereport

    Not An Idiot, how can you say this has nothing to do with Kiffin? This is obviously a direct result of Kiffin’s plan!

  12. 17
    Not An Idiot

    I guess I am just delusional. Come to think of it, I hate that guy with a passion but I will admit it seems like he knows what he is doing. He got rid of Meyer, now I hope he’s not gunning for Saban.

  13. 19
    capstonereport

    I think the Alabama-Florida rivalry is a healthy one, unlike the Alabama-Auburn rivalry. Florida fans are refreshingly proud of their program, and not always hoping for disaster to come to a their rival.

  14. 20
    Robert Karma

    One of the best tongue in cheek articles I have read in a long time. I enjoyed it despite the brilliantly backhanded way it slammed our glorious coach, The Lane Kiffin. I still must respect quality commentary even if most of your readers seem confused & bewildered as to why you would “praise” Kiffin and trash Urban Meyer. This is trash talk I can admire while hating ‘Bama 364 days of the year (Roll Tide… neuter those ‘Horns & keep the BCS Title in the family). Keep up the great writing & we will see you in Knoxville next October.

  15. 21
    Alex Hamilton

    Wildman, you’re a good Chrustian.

    Don’t we all “find” Jesus during life’s darkest hours?

    I bet you were reading the Bible right after you laughed at us in 2006. I am pretty sure you were “classy” when you laughed at Bowden and FSU.

    Enjoy mediocrity Florida!

  16. 23
    JW

    I hope Coach N.S. does not have thoughts of being a gator.Dam if that would not be a slap in the face.I only give him another year and off he goes to rebuild another power house.. RTR…..

  17. 26
    julio

    Well, I guess we all know now why Fla lost to Bama in the SEC Championship. Obviously, Meyer had his mind on his heart problems and his mind was a million miles away. That victory doesn’t even count, Bama.

  18. 29
    Alex Hamilton

    That’s an interesting name there ‘Rider. I don’t think I’d be proud if Lane rode the train on me.

    Wow. Vol fans will take it in the ass from their coach.

    That explains IndianaVol.

  19. 35
    kg

    people are ridiculing this, but i think the point has some validity to it. no so much for the moral victories, but taking into consideration that urban is losing both of his golden eggs (15 and 51). true the cupboards aren’t bare at florida, but i’m not sure Urban is ready to rebuild and start losing to people that he’s defeated in the past. cuz they’re gonna come after his program HARD. Especially the boys from the Volunteer state.

  20. 37
    Indiana Vol

    “Like sands through the hour glass, Florida fans continue to be the stupidest fans in the SEC. I’ve not seen anything as obtuse as their responses since I took geometry in the ninth grade.”

    Alex Hamilton (aka CRIMSON TURD MORON) is a tool of the highest order! The stupidest fans in the SEC are the Bammer Morons and they have been that way for decades!

  21. 38
    Crimsonite

    Wrong, Indiana Turd. We definitely are not the stupidest. That honor is reserved for Barners, Volunqueers and Corndogs. We are simply the most obnoxious, and we love it!

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