Bama Foes’ Worst Nightmares Are Coming True

If you hate the Crimson Tide, it was good to be alive early this decade. Anything that could possibly go right for you and wrong for the Tide were as routine as the sunrise. A humiliating turn of the century season in 2000 was only the beginning of what would be Crimson misery for the next several years. Preseason #3 turned into a 3-8 season. A glimmer of hope from a coach named Fran turned into embarrassment as he ran away from devestating sanctions. A rival’s fat head coach gloated over our near dead Crimson body. The Capstone’s prized football program lay lifeless after the crooked NCAA continued the pattern of selective prosecution. The hiring and firing of a coach who never coached a game blackened Bama’s eye, again. And then, the Shula years, where predictability plus a lack of discipline plus a lack of talent and depth equaled four of the six straight losses to Auburn, as well as more than a dozen others where we were outcoached, outmatched and outplayed. And winning the fourth quarter wasn’t an option with a roster filled with soft players who couldn’t even play special teams on today’s unit.

Yes, if you wore orange, those were good times. Fingers were hoisted. Overtimes were won. Fourth and eighteens were converted. Mid-major programs pushed the Tide around on its own turf. Players publically joked in the media about disciplinary measures. And the once proud face of Southern football sank further and further into Crimson mediocrity. Alabama was gone for good. Done for. Finished. Dismissed to third or worse in the West. The new lords of the SEC were LSU and Auburn vying in the West to face Florida in the East for the crown.

And after Shula was “unfairly” shown the door by his alma mater, nobody in their right mind would want to come to Alabama. Remember that line? Who in their right mind would want THAT job, where unrealistic expectations ruled the show? Our rivals laughed when Spurrier spurned us to stay at also-ran South Carolina. We were the butt of many the joke when the hot Rich Rodriguez played us for more money at West Virginia. And as week after week passed in December of 2006, with no coach (and no prospects thereof) on the horizon, the humiliation grew deeper.

Then a faint whisper could be heard; one suggesting that one Nick Saban might be interested in the vacancy at Alabama. Immediately this was dismissed. As one Auburn friend put it, “He’s never coming to Alabama. He loves it in south Florida and is doing what he wants to do…coach in the NFL.” ESPN littered the airwaves and internet with talking heads scoffing at the idea.

Then the plane hit the tarmac in Tuscaloosa.

Aubies everywhere scurried into a frenzy. And if you’re reading this, you know who you are. You said things like: “We’re not afraid of Nick Saban.” Another favorite was, “Check the records. Tuberville owns Saban.” And I distinctively remember hearing one radio caller mouth  the words “Bring…it…on.”

Unrest led to relief the first year, as a team littered with trash posted a dismal 7-6 record, and worse yet, a sixth loss to Auburn. Tubby hoisted fingers and ran around the field, representative of the classless trash that is Auburn football. He wore an antagonistic t-shirt (against Bama) on a television interview. And everything down on the plains was gonna be okay.

Twenty-six wins and two losses later, my how things have changed. For if you hate Crimson and went to sleep after the 2007 Iron Bowl, you’re waking up to sheer hell today. Back-to-back regular season undefeated seasons. Game after game of marquee wins on national stages. Back-to-back #1 recruiting classes in the country (with a possible threepeat upcoming). A triple dose of slapping good ‘ole Rocky Top. Back-to-back whippings for our friends down on the Bayou. And back-to-back victories in the game that defines Auburn football, with more most certainly on the way.

But then, there was Florida. Good ole Florida. Afterall, if your team can’t take down the Tide, at least you can depend on Urban Meyer and the wonder boy of college football to get the job done.

Last Saturday, it was dancing on the tongues of every Aubie and Vile alive…just sixty minutes separated them from one of the hardest and loudest laughs they could enjoy at our expense in a long time.

“Sure, back-to-back undefeated seasons, but two years in a row, thanks to Tebow, Bama won’t have anything to show for it!”

I remember having dinner with my wife the evening of the La.Monroe loss in ’07. An acquaintance from high school spotted me from across a restaurant and made her way across the room to sit down at our table. An Auburn grad.

“Tough game today.” She couldn’t contain her joy as the corners of her mouth curled upward and her eyes danced at the opportunity to rub my nose in a humiliating defeat. My wife couldn’t believe how utterly classless this was. This was not a friend. This was simply another classless tigger eager to pour salt in a Crimson wound. But again, this is the norm in the Abarn fambly. Sadly, those of her ilk are a dime a dozen.

Today, I’d like to cross paths with that little ole gal. I wonder what was going through her mind as we ran around and through Abarn’s last hope at keeping us from college football’s biggest stage? When Javy intercepted the nature boy, sending Superman on the trail of tears, I wonder what the jerk who held up five fingers in my face in ’06 was thinking. And when the usual characters in the Aubsessed nation look around and realize there isn’t another college team better than Florida to face us in the BSC National Championship game, what does that sick feeling in their stomach actually feel like?

National Champions. Just say it out loud. National Champions. If you’re an Aubie using the internet, you likely weren’t alive in the late 1950’s when that distinction was associated with your program. In a little over a month, your most hated rival will shelve its 13th. Man it stinks being a Bama hater.

Today I ran across another Aubie, merely remarking at how Tebow was shut down. All I said was “When was the last time you’ve seen Tebow beaten like that?” The obvious answer was very, very rarely. Immediately this lost soul launched into a tirade any three-year-old would be proud of, declaring how much he hated Alabama. He hated ’em, hated ’em, hated ’em, so he emphasized. His words were telling; not so much what he said, but how he said them. It was a casserole of frustration, hate and desperation, with sprinkling of angst and disbelief. I walked away satisfied with the private prison I knew he’ll be living in for the foreseeable future.

Afterall, how could Alabama return to the top of the college football world so quickly? Yes, our rivals’ worst nightmares are coming true. Once crippled and left for dead, The University of Alabama has risen from the ashes to replace the USCs, the Floridas and the LSUs of the world as the most dominant, relentless, physical program in the country. And as Gary Danielson said it best, Alabama is going to be dominant like this for a long, long time.

And the best part? There’s not a thing anybody in orange can do about it. Welcome back to the 1970’s Abarn, Tennessee and Florida. Just to give you a point of reference, the year is 1973. Enjoy it. I know we will.


Add Yours
  1. 1

    I loved the read brother!
    But when you called Auburn fans “Classless Trash” dont you think you were being a little bit too generous?

  2. 4
    Ballplay Indian

    That is what makes our rivalry unique in all of sports. It goes through every game of the schedule and then into the offseason. I personally enjoy it and have fun with it. Yes, I and others can get carried away, but congrats on Bama SEC and soon to be National Championship. You earned it.

    Ill tell you an angle Ive found that is flat out owning my Bama buddies….Ill roll my eyes and say “Hey guys, if you cant honostly claim that SEC championship with the way the Refs gift wrapped it for you, and still sleep at night, then so be it..”….That will usually get them pretty riled up, then I counter with the black helicopter comment of “You know the last holding call your team recieved ? The South Carolina game, Now you tell me there aint something going on….”. That usually brings them to the point of fighting. Of course I dont believe this stuff….Its just too much fun to resist.

  3. 7

    Great article.

    What a great time for every BAMA player, coach, ex-player, and fan.

    This NIGHTMARE IS REAL!!!!!!

    The relief of allowing yourself to deny history has reared itself to the present. What does the future hold? Stop denying history and take a hard look.

    My most miserable account of the last few years was the Thanksgiving of 2005. My aubarn relatives that I only see at holidays were riding high on themselves. I sat there having to soak in things on how they felt sorry for Brodie and how great the future would be for the barn. Nothing more than gloating in an attempt to be tactful. I sat there knowing this day would return and my relative barneys would return to their hole. One of them has such a lack of understanding the game he told me how fortunate BAMA was to win this years Iron Bowl. I doubt he has come to the realization that BAMA was merely overlooking the pathetic barn.

    For all the bumper stickers with “honk if you sacked Brodie”, the fear the thumb, tubb’s fingers, Manning directing appalachian low, the Dubose debacle, fannie franny leaving, low price hookers, the plain of Shula, and all the embarrassments I have forgotten, it is over.

    As Christmas approaches, I will say nothing. I will, as always, be wearing a BAMA cap. The lack of acknowledgement will say it all.

    WE ARE ALABAMA!!!! That says it all in college football.

    It sux to be an aubarn tiger!!!!

  4. 8

    ITK, you’re disavowing someone as a friend simply beecause they razzed you about the La-Mo loss? Are you telling me that you wouldn’t have done the same thing with your AU buddies if Auburn lost to La-Mo? Not real sure what you mean by saying that was classless.

    Congrats on the Fla. game and the SEC championship. Not much to say there. That was simply one of the most dominating performances I have ever seen in college football, and Bama will slaughter Texas.

    I don’t blame you for doing everything you can to rub it in against AU and UT. I have no doubt that there is a ton of pent up frustration that comes from being completely dominated for so long by both of those teams, and I’m sure it’s very therapeutic to exercise those demons.

  5. 9

    My father-in-law (Auburn fan)congratulated me after the Iron Bowl. I said “Congratulate me for what ?”. He said “For the win against Auburn”. I said “I’m not going to brag about that. I mean, it’s Auburn. You guys care more about it than we do.” He didn’t have much to say after that.

  6. 10

    Sure, there are individuals of every school out there that suck as people. That doesn’t mean to say that you should be judging an entire school off of those single encounters. I chose to go to Auburn BECAUSE it was a friendlier atmosphere than Bama was at the time. Having said that, I don’t go around saying (or even thinking) that Bama people suck. Your comments were crafted in a way to entertain, which is fine. Go ahead and talk trash, but don’t trick yourself into thinking that you have any more class or charm than us “Aubies”. In the meantime, we’ll just continue believing this to be the friendly rivalry that it’s supposed to be.

  7. 11
    Indiana Vol

    “utterly classless”; the true definition of the Crimson TURD program, it’s a$$hole coach and, especially it’s Bammer Moron followers. The true lack of class of the Bammer Moron Nation was on display Saturday with the Mullet-anthem “rammer-jammer”. This is a truly classless cheer and it fits the Crimson TURDs perfectly!

    HOOK’EM HORNS; bury the Habitual Cheaters and ram the rammer-jammer hammer up Nicky Satan’s rear!

  8. 12

    Yeah BM, you didn’t care in the slightest when Bama lost to AU 6 times in a row. Afterall, the Iron Bowl means nothing to you bammers, right?

  9. 13

    Nothing says class like singing “we just beat the hell out of you” after you win. And you wonder why we hate you. Auburn fan are the nicest fans you will ever meet, however, that cheer is uncalled for even for LSU.

    And for the record, Tebow was shutdown by auburn twice (2006 & 2007). At least the state of Alabama has a good record against Florida this decade.

  10. 14

    Julio, if I may speak for BM, the Iron Bowl does matter, but it’s like the first level of a video game that progresses in difficulty. For six years we couldn’t get past that screen and Abarn could. But what we’re playing for now is so much more important. I’ll try to explain it better for you another time, breaking it down into short sentences. Right now I’ve GOT to take this call from my travel agent. Plenty of places to stay in Pasadena.

  11. 15

    Auburn fans the nicest? That’s laughable. Aubiematt, I hope you do hate us. So you’re going to compare your performance against Tebow as a freshman back-up and sophomore against what we did to him as a senior on the biggest stage in college football? Reality escapes you, my friend.

    Just stay home from the Iron Bowl the next few years. You’re going to hear that cheer alot.

  12. 16

    Yeah, it’s really stupid to compare what Auburn did to Tebow when he was a Sophomore. I mean, it’s not like he both passed and rushed for over 20 td’s that year for the 1st time in NCAA history or won the Heisman…and as to shutting down Fla in 2006, so what?? It’s not like Fla won the NC that year or anything.

  13. 18

    You’re right ITK, it’s just silly to hold on to something that happened two or three years ago. Dwelling on a coach’s accomplishments from 30 to 40 years ago is an entirely different story though, right?

  14. 19

    Yes Julio. With a completely different coaching staff from Mr. 12-24 you have now.

    “Memories….like the corners of my mind…”

    It’s over, dude. Welcome back to the 70’s. We don’t even have a full roster of Saban recruits yet and we’re already vying for a National Championship, and as much as you don’t want to believe it, we’ll be in the mix from here on out.

    And by the way, the coach you’re talking about is Bear freaking Bryant. Give me a break. Don’t make yourself sound stupid in here, bro. Why don’t you just call Michael Jordan a basketball player.

  15. 20

    Julio, what would you say was Mr. 12-24’s signature win this season? Was it against 7-5 Tennessee, or was it at home against three loss West Virginia?

  16. 21

    ITK, what would you say was Mr. 2-6’s signature loss in his first year at Bama? JPW’s 102 yd pick 6 against Miss State right before halftime, or the collossal battle against perennial Sunbelt heavywight Louisiana-Monroe? Oh well, I guess Saban made up for it in beautiful downtown Shreveport in the prestigious weedwacker bowl in late December of that year against the mighty buffaloes.

  17. 22

    Okay Julia, playing your sad little game:

    Which BCS bowl do you believe Mr. 12-24 will be taking Auburn to in his second year?

    …meaning they’ll either win the SEC or finish second to the team playing in the BCS NC game.

    I’m waiting..

  18. 24

    Geez ITK, can a guy go home after work and have a little dinner without being accused of ducking?

    I don’t know what Bowl AU will go to next year. I predict that Auburn will be better in 2010 than it was in 09. I also know that Chizik is going to a New Years Day Bowl in his first season, which is heck of a lot more prestigious than Saban’s trip to Shreveport after his first year.

    Surely you’re not telling me that you predicted Bama would go 12-1 and end up in the Sugar Bowl the day after Bama lost its 6th IB in a row in 07, are you??

  19. 25
    Crimsonite from the planet Crimson in a galaxy far far away. FormerlyE.G. White

    Carrie, are you delusional, or do you just have a yeast infection? Friendly rivalry? Where the hell did you come from? There’s nothing friendly about it. We detest each other. Split families don’t speak. People get fired from their jobs. Spouses get divorced. Coaches get fired. Politics get predjudiced. This rivalry is pure unadulterated hate.

  20. 26

    You called Jay Jacobs jockeying behind the scenes to posture Abarn ahead of all the other 7-5 teams in the SEC to play a nothing bowl on the first day of 2010 something to hang your hat on. My how the bar has fallen.

    And I love how you avoided the question.

    DO you or DON’T you expect your 12-24 coach to have Abarn in championship contention by NEXT season, Julio? It’s not a hard question. What do you say?

    Because if you compare cheezit’s first year to Saban’s, you have to follow through and keep going. Otherwise you’re just chicken crap.

  21. 27

    Well gee ITK, you change your question from one post to the next and then act like I didn’t answer your question. Your first question was what BCS bowl AU would go to, and specifically defined that as winning the SEC or finish 2nd to the team that went to the NC game. Now you want to know if I predict AU will be in championship contention next year.

    As to your 2nd question, my answer is yes. I do believe AU will be a contender for the SEC next year. Oh, I certainly believe that AU would need some luck to win it because I don’t predict they could do any better than 6-2 in the SEC. Maybe not quite as much luck as Saban got with his 01 SEC title where he was 5-3 in the SEC and lost all 3 games by double digits, including a 44-15 squeaker with Fla and a home loss to an Ole Miss team that didn’t even go to a bowl, but certainly some luck.

    I predict AU to be better next year simply because the depth on D will be better. Oh, I know its fun to say that AU lost 3 4th quarter leads this year because of whimsical names for coaches like 5-19 and Cheezenip, but any rational observer would agree that AU was down to a rag-tag, bare bones unit in the 2nd half of the season. That’s not an excuse, it’s a reason. So with replenished depth on D, and a home schedule that sets up very nicely, I certainly think AU could improve their record by 2 or 3 wins which could make them a contender in the SEC next year. Of course, I’m sure you’ll throw out more whimsical names in response like “dipsy-do” to support your contention that AU will implode and go 2-10 next year.

  22. 28

    No, names aren’t necessary. All I needed to see what that coaching staff waste the final 1:13 of their biggest game of the year…the one that defines Auburn football. That snapshot, along with his track record of game mismanagement that followed 12-24 from Iowa State showed me that simply achieving anything more than winning records and saying what Pat Dye has told him to is beyond his reach.

    Not to mention that when his bag of secret plays ran dry, there was no real football to be played against a team that can drive the field when it decides to. When the dipsy-do’s ran their course, Abarn had no answer. I’m not calling for 2-10, but today we are standing on ground that you will never enjoy under Chizik, and in your gut you know it. Just like I did with Shula.

    As for BCS bowls, those two questions go hand-in-hand. To play in a BCS bowl, Abarn has to make it to the SEC Championship game, either winning it or losing to the team that is about to walk into the National Championship game. We both know neither of those scenarios are going to happen.

    Wish for the best, Julio; that’s what Christmastime does to you. But in the end you’ll just keep waking up to no Santa Clause.

  23. 29

    ITK, I’m confused. You said before the week that Bama knew how to stop the “dipsy-do”, and then the dipsy-do proceeded to rack up more pts against Bama than any other offense has all year. (BTW, does dipsy-do mean watching film and knowing that you throw a deep route to your best receiver when Arenas runs his 48th corner blitz of the season?) Now you amend that guarantee, all the while pretending that we won’t notice, by saying that Bama put it together after the the dipsy-do ran its course. I’m confused…are you saying that Bama will outright stop the dipsy do, or that Bama will stop the dipsy-do after it “runs its course”? (which in the IB was after 58 minutes and 47 seconds of play.)

    PS. Congratulations to Saban and McElwain for figuring out after a mere 53 minutes of play that it might be a good idea to put your best receiver in the slot where he can line up against either a safety who had never even played the position in pee wee football until 2 weeks before or another one who is a 2 star true freshman. Pure genius, I tell you.

  24. 31

    Listen Julia, while you Aubsess in your own private hell about that game, you know, the one that defines you, we’ve moved on. I don’t know if you saw the game we played in Saturday…you know, the one that 44 million people were watching. If not, maybe you can catch us on January 7th as time stands still and the entire planet watches Crimson Tide football. I’m sure there be just as much interest in Auburn-Northwestern. Finishing 2-5 really creates a buzz.

    And I’ll answer my own question from above…yes, we did. That game is just another no our schedule. I savor it, but our program is way beyond worrying about Auburn. Word is now we were working on Florida the week of UTC. Now if that’s not a slap in the face, nothing is. You’ll get used to it though.

  25. 32

    Gee ITK I guess you forgot that you were the one that brought the game up in this post, not me. I was simply responding to your comments about about how Bama supposedly shut down the “dipsy-do” in the game. If you’ve “moved on”, why’d ya bring it up?

    What’s your point about supposedly working on FL during the week of UTC? Are you still obsessing about the fabrication of excuses for why the game was close? Relax ITK, Bama won. It’s ok. Just because the worst Auburn team that you will see in the next several years came within a whisker of beating the best team Bama has put on the field in 20 years is no cause for concern for the future. Just keep telling yourself that the AU coaching staff is a joke. Just keep repeating words like dipsy-do, cheezenip, Shula, and 5-19. It will all be ok.

  26. 33

    The best news for you is “AUlmost” is back to being good enough down on the plains. Here, I’ll use this new term in a sentence for you:

    “We AUlmost beat the best team Bama has had in 20 years!”

    That’s just plain pitiful. But hey, if “Aulmost” is good enough for you, don’t let me rain on your parade. It’s hard to make it to the BCS National Championship game, and you shouldn’t feel badly because you can’t get there.

    I’ll ask one more time, and please stop avoiding the question.

    WILL Auburn or WON’T they duplicate Saban’s SECOND year by winning the West, playing for the SEC Championship and appearing in a BCS bowl game next season?

  27. 34

    And a new question…

    If Saban destroyed Meyer’s offense in his second look at it, is it your contention that the dipsy-do, with far less talent than the Gators and a new QB in 2010 will be harder for him to do so?

  28. 35

    OK ITK, it’s plain to see that you are just as painfully bored as I am with no decent college football being played for the next few weeks. Therefore, I’ll do my part and keep this little banter going for the amusement of both of us:

    1. You’re far too educated and intelligent to be placing quotation marks around words that are not a direct quote. Keep it up and I’m gonna have to drive over to Samford and inform your English 101 professor.

    2. Almost is no where near good enough. I take zero comfort in the fact that the game was close and that you and every other bammer couldn’t have had your prostate examined with a sledge hammer and a needle for the first 59 minutes of the game. (Oh not you though ITK, you were relaxed and confident the whole time.) To be exact, the game was almost a mirror of the 82 AU-Ga game in Dye’s 2nd year when Herschel drove the field late in the 4th qtr and UGA finally took the lead. It was a heartbreaker that nearly killed AU fans, but it was also a sign of great things to come.

    2. I’ve answered your question twice already, but here goes the 3rd time. I predict that Auburn will improve next year, and that they could do as well as 6-2 in the SEC. As I also stated, with some luck that could get them to Atlanta. Obviously the winner of that game goes to a BCS bowl, and I would like AU’s chances against any team in the East next year. As to whether or not AU could get to a BCS Bowl if it were to reach Atlanta and lose, that’s virtually impossible to predict because that completely depends on how other teams from all over the country are doing. So yes, for the 3rd time, I believe AU could win the West and go to a BCS bowl.

    3. As to your 3rd question, yes. And if the “dipsy-do” put up more pts against Bama than any other team did this season, and this was Bama’s best D in 20 years, how do you think Malzahn will do in his second look at it when Cody, McClain, and Arenas are gone??

    P.S. It’s kinda silly to refer to a QB as “new” when he’s starting his 12th game.

  29. 36

    1. Predictably, when losing an argument, argue semantics. I knew you were a democrat.

    2. First, Chizik will never touch 6-2. But even so, that’s not 8-0…for two consecutive seasons. I thought you were comparing your coach to ours?

    3. As soon as Gus banks two BCS National Championships with that O I’ll go along with #3. Until then the world agrees you’re insane. I disagree with the world. I just think you’re ignorant and delusional.

    Scratch #3…I shouldn’t have brought up National Championships. That’s just not fair.

  30. 37

    ITK, you know what was unique about this year? I think its probably the first time since the league split into division that all the pre-season predictions were correct about both teams that ended up in Atlanta. We all love backdated predictions. Of course, you predicted at the beginning of the 08 season that Bama would go undefeated in the regular season and go to a BCS bowl, right? No, you predicted like the rest of the objcetive world that Bama would go about 7-5 or 8-4 and end up 3rd in the West. Just like I and the rest of the objective world predicted AU would win the West in 08. And you predicted that Bama would win the West in 06. And that Fla would win the East in 07. And that LSU would win the West in 04. And on, and on, and on…

  31. 38

    You’re sick Julia. Asking for help is the first step on the road to recovery.

    I predicted we’d win the West, and I knew if Saban (who is now 15-1 in revenge games) got to face Tebow and Meyer again he’d take them.

    The National Championship we’re about to win is the only surprise. But when you hire a championship caliber coach and not a coach-in-training, it shouldn’t be.

  32. 39

    You’re saying that you predicted that Bama would win the West before the 08 season started? Well, you and Shane were the only ones if you’re proud to be in that company. If you’ll be truthful, I think you’ll admit that you didn’t really predict that.

  33. 40

    There isn’t an instrument that can measure how indifferent I am to what you believe, but with our defense and a good to potent offense, with a little luck from the offensive line production, that’s exactly what I saw. Miles is a moron. Nutt is a joke. Chizik is a loser. Mullen is under manned. And Petrino is a year or two away. No one in the West could contend with Nick Saban. And Kiffin is a bigger joke than Nutt. You just couldn’t see beyond your own personal bias to see the light. So if Shane and I were the only ones, so be it. Stay blind if you want, but 2010 looks promising as well…and please don’t start a debate on that right now. Finish one of your sucky seasons before you focus on the next.

    But that’s what’s so freaking hilarious. You don’t think 2009 was a sucky season. That’s the beauty of it all. Abarn football has returned to the 70’s, where AUlmost is good enough.

    Fearless and True!!!

  34. 41

    Okay, I just laughed out loud…. AT YOU. CLASSLESS TIGERS?! Do you know Alabama fans? Have you been to an Alabama game? Have you walked the streets anywhere in this state and been surrounded by mullet-heads in crimson shirts? I was a Bama fan for 19 years and you’re hearing from a girl who loves it for the pure sport and spirit. There is nothing like Auburn and I dare you to find a classier crowd. This was the first REAL IRON BOWL I’ve seen in YEARS. Real competition! Auburn fans left that game smiling because it was well played.
    I’m not afraid of Saban.
    Also, The Iron Bowl does not “DEFINE” Auburn football. AUBURN defines Auburn football. If you were from Auburn, you would get that.
    Lastly, I am absolutely appalled by comments STILL being rudely, VICIOUSLY, thrown around about Tebow. I hate Florida as much as the next SEC fan, but come on! How mean!

    So, yeah, I laughed. Out loud. At you.

    Merry Christmas!

    P.S. To a comment or two on this article: It’s not that almost is good enough. It’s that we’re proud of our brothers on the team. It’s been a good year and we’re dealing with big changes very well. We’re just happy to be Auburn Tigers. Love the Plains 🙂

  35. 42

    Lauren honey, first off, congratulations on discovering an article that’s now 18 days old. You’re lightning, babe.

    You can love the plains all you want. So do cows. Are you a cow? Regardless of that answer, if you love mediocrity, moral victories and little man’s syndrome, you toss aside all logic and do what you have to do.

    And yes, almost (or new spelling, “AUlmost”) is good enough for you. If you call 7-5 a good year, you’ve proven my point. We settle for nothing less than championships, and when we were 7-6, 3-9, 4-9, 8-4, a close loss never led us to leave the stadium with a smile. Heck, a close win against UT this year led me to throw my victory cigar away. We demand excellence at Alabama. You simply settle for measuring up to your big brother “Bama”. Face it, baby, it’s true. Get mad at me, spit, rant and rave, but it’s true. AUlmost is good enough down there, which is why you sport less SEC Championships than Georgia Tech owns, and only one Championship from ’57. Good enough will always be good enough for you.

    Finally, you say you’re not afraid of Saban. I’m not afraid of sharks or swallowing shards of glass either. Both can kill me, but I respect both enough to know they trump me so I bow out to them and stay away. It’s time for you to bow out and concede that last game for a while sweetie, that way you’re Thanksgiving holidays won’t be ruined for the foreseeable future.

    Join the rest of the nation Lauren in recognizing Auburn for what it is…a college that no one takes seriously that should be playing Division 2 football.

    In the meantime, if you’ll excuse me, I have GOT to finalize my plans for Pasadena. We’re playing for all the marbles in about two weeks, ya know. Feel free to watch; it’s the closest thing you’ll ever get to participating in a BCS National Championship game wearing orange and blue.

    (This is where you say “Hook’em Horns”, or something pathetic like that.)

  36. 43

    Pathetic is relying on the use of terms like “babe” and “sweetie” to belittle someone you’ve never met, honey. I’m not your baby.

    And if you knew what respect was you would recognize that Auburn played well against the odds on many occasions this season. They weren’t the better team and that’s a part of the cycle. But they played surprisingly well. And hellooooo, Ben Tate! Respect that.

    But oh, hold on, STOP THE PRESSES! Did Heisman winner Mark Ingram get shut down? Oh, yeah. I was there. 30 yards. Cute.

    I didn’t really come in this to put down Alabama. I already feel bad about that stab at Ingram. Good season. Very good. I’m impressed. Congratulations! And that’s genuine. I did more than respect that. I smiled at it.
    But I’m also proud of my team. And I’m proud of my school. I’m proud of my town. So calm down and find your own class. My family is fine. My celebration is in the fact that I don’t have to live and go to school in a crappy (scary) place like Tuscaloosa and in the pleasure of being a part of this family.
    We gave you a run for your money. We’ll see that look of fear in your eyes again. Maybe next time we’ll shut you up. Someone is going to. All false gods see their end (That is Saban, not the Tide.), but fans will undoubtedly be left making excuses.

  37. 44

    So Lauren, you felt so bad about saying that about Ingram that you went ahead and did it anyway. Now that’s class, and a fine display of discipline.

    You’ve misunderstood me. I encourage you to be proud of your team. Wear your orange and blue. Smile at all the “Fearless and True” billboards Abarn has had to construct all over creation to try and fabricate interest, though interest in the Tide comes natural. But be proud of your team.

    Just don’t keep fooling yourself that AUlmost isn’t good enough for you, because it is. I don’t have to prove it, you’re doing it quite well for me!

    And I quote:

    “And if you knew what respect was you would recognize that Auburn played well against the odds on many occasions this season. They weren’t the better team and that’s a part of the cycle. But they played surprisingly well. And hellooooo, Ben Tate! Respect that.

    But oh, hold on, STOP THE PRESSES! Did Heisman winner Mark Ingram get shut down? Oh, yeah. I was there. 30 yards. Cute.”

    You woke up November 28th along with the barner nation believing that, because you didn’t get thumped 36-0, you won. You’re probably new to the game, but that by definition is called “moral victory”. It’s called getting close enough to make you feel better. And that is and always has been good enough for Abarn.

    You spend your life as a barner comparing yourselves to big brother (hence your pathetic ben tate reference, who nobody else in all the world compares to Ingram), hoping, praying for the day that we implode or do something to hurt ourselves where we’ll be able to stoop down low enough for you to beat us. That’s the only way your “streak” happened, when we were crippled by the crooked NCAA and a seething rival.

    But historically, when we’re healthy, we own you. And baby, we’re healthy.

    But do not hear me say not to cheer for your team. Please do. Be proud of them. Just realize at the end of the day that your allegiance is to an inferior program where close is all that counts.

  38. 45

    Welcome to a world where everyone cannot be the best all at once.

    Enjoy your glory. You have not always ACTUALLY had it, though many Bama fans act like they have, and you won’t always have it.

    I’m also not going to pretend like Auburn doesn’t have glory years.

    So enjoy a moment in the sun. You deserve it.

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