Capstone Saturdays: Headset Trouble, the Truth

electricity
Editorial Cartoon: UT Headset Trouble, the Truth

It’s an old, tired joke…one that I even uttered myself to an obnoxious Volunteer last Saturday.

“Hey, how do you like the electricity here?”

You can insert running water, inside toilets, paved roads…you get the idea. But it turns out, my question could not have been more accurate. You’re not going to believe this.

Last Saturday, and in the days following, Lane Kiffin made several flagrant allegations that someone at Alabama had tampered with the UT headsets. Nevermind the absurdity of the accusation, seeing that we too would be stripped of our headset usage. But as that beautiful friend called “irony” would have it, the problem resides with his own staff’s inability to properly distribute power.

Alabama’s sidelines, home and away, are equipped with multiple power stations where any and everything a team needs can be plugged in. Fans, heaters, electronic equipment, and yes, headsets, are powered by these units. But just as any of the outlets in your home have a limit of how much power it can pull, so do these stations. It’s a universal truth in electricity.

However, instead of distributing power evenly between the power stations, UT’s staff chose to plug everything into one…leaving the others unused. So, just as Clark W. Griswald discovered, plug too many items in, and BAM. You’ve got yourself a tripped breaker.

This information comes directly from a University employee and can be easily substantiated by any news outlet who chooses to pursue it. When I found out…and boy what a small world we live in…I counted it as my personal gift from God. As His word says, “pride comes before a fall,” and while I don’t know if you call what Lane Kiffin spews every day pride,  it’s certainly ignorant stupidty, and he’s on his way for one nice fall. I wonder how long the University of Tennessee, rich in history and tradition, will tolerate this sort of adolescent behavior?

If anyone sat on the side opposite the pressbox last Saturday, you could see someone in Crimson sprinting across the field and redistributing power among the outlets. Then, like magic, the problem was solved. Of course, in most parts of East Tennessee, electricity IS likened to magic.

I realize a story like this is incredible in every sense of the word, and depending on which side of the fence you sit on, you’ll believe what you want. But I’m telling you, this one  is 100% true. And Lane Kiffin, once again, has proven himself to be the ignorant, obnoxious, immature imbecile that he is.