Auburn needs new representatives on the Finebaum Network
By Shane from Centerpoint
I know this may sound disingenuous coming from a writer whose ultimate loyalty lies with the Alabama Crimson Tide but, for the sake of quality radio, I must be honest and objective with the â€œfootball-cluelessâ€ Tiger Cubs who represent Team Auburn on the Finebaum Radio Network. Tommy Tuberville isnâ€™t the only man consumed by paranoia and neurotic thoughts since Nick Sabanâ€™s arrival at Alabama. Saban has upset you so badly that â€œgameâ€ is no longer part of your repertoire.
All four of you have lost your confidence and your performances have been reduced to childish rants with no substance. The only cards you have left in your hands are publicity stunts, false accusations, and mindless blather about six-in-a-row. What happened to the â€œhard-fighting soldiersâ€ who used to bring intelligent arguments, witty â€œtakesâ€ and some quality to the table?
Iâ€™ll refrain from mentioning any names so you can maintain some semblance of credibility â€“ at least in your own mind. If you choose to do nothing to improve yourself, then so be it. However, there is still time to correct the situation.
Letâ€™s get real for a minute. Paul Finebaum is a professional and he expects his featured callers to be prepared to perform at the highest level. As we all know, a â€œgreatâ€ caller brings his â€œA-gameâ€ every day. The PFRNâ€™s vast audience is above average in intelligence and you simply cannot continue to drop the ball when you are on the air. If youâ€™re not careful youâ€™ll end up on the bench with the rest of the has-been losers like B.O.B.
I must admit that, as a professional caller and analyst, I really enjoy hearing you struggle and flop like a fish on Paulâ€™s stringer. Nevertheless, lately I start to nod-off when one of you calls the show. If you donâ€™t wake up soon and improve your tactics you might just fade-to-black.
Imagine that youâ€™re someone driving through the state of Alabama on a sunny afternoon listening to Finebaum. During the course of the show you get to hear the â€œThree Aumigosâ€ – a farmer from Reeltown, a redneck from Montgomery and a Steak-out delivery boy from Birmingham. You must be saying to yourself, â€œAre these clowns the best Aubie spokespeople the Auburn family has to offer?â€ Inevitably you come to the realization that it is sadâ€”but true. You not only are subject to culture shock – you may suffer culture electrocution after listening to that series of calls.
We should never say never, but the perception war between Finebaumâ€™s Alabama callers and the Aubie mouthpieces has shifted so far in Bamaâ€™s favor that it is no longer a contest. Realistically speaking, right now Tommy Tuberville needs every public relations boost he can get and Team Auburn is providing little or no help. Eventually, Finebaum might put this crew out of business. If he does, the showâ€™s quality will improve and maybe Auburn can supply a higher-caliber group of callers.